


The Detriments of Unexpected Goo

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, i almost couldn't bring myself to write 'undergarments' but i had to for the sake of spock POV, it's not spirk i swear ok, just read it, oh god this was fun to write, panty kink aww yiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Spock, take off your pants, and that's an order."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Detriments of Unexpected Goo

**Author's Note:**

> "ok but mission where kirk and spock are down on some planet and their uniforms get sprayed with something toxic or idk and they have to strip down to their underwear and spock is acting all weird and kirk is like come on dont get all shy it’s not a big deal nobody can keep their clothes on around me and he’s joking around and then spock takes off his pants and he’s wearing uhura’s panties and they just stare at each other for a minute and then sit in awkward silence as they wait for scotty to beam them up"-tumblr user parksandtrekreation/sylphoftime, if ur reading this then this is all your fault. seriously.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jim groans. He rubs his command golds between a thumb and forefinger. "Jesus, it's like I have the record for ruining the most shirts in the least amount of time," he says, mostly to himself. "Interesting," is all Spock says, scanning the green goo that's splattered all over him and, of course, Jim's shirt, because the universe hates him.

"It's in my hair," Sulu says, wrinkling his nose. Chekov is standing next to him, wincing at his own goo-covered state-or maybe it's just the strong desert winds; it's a little hard to tell at this point.

The heat is stifling when they're all in long sleeves and uniform pants, but Spock doesn't look the least bit affected, the bastard-this is probably no sweat for a Vulcan. He does look very fascinated with the green goo, which makes Jim a little pissed, since they did just fall into a pit of it five seconds ago.

"There should not be any moisture on a planet such as Sigma II," Spock says. Jim hums in agreement. "Yeah, but here we are. Covered in green stuff. Man, I think I can see why nobody's colonized here yet."

"Captain, what was that? Are you alright?" Uhura's voice comes from his comm, tinny over the sound of the wind whipping through the bone-dry trees.

"We're fine, just fell into some sort of pond," Jim says.

"Was that the  _Captain_  screamin' down there? Must have been some pond," Scotty says from the Bridge.

"I heard that, Scotty. My scream was totally manly. How about you try and fall into a slime pond without freaking out a little?" At Spock's disapproving eyes, Jim gets back on track. "No injuries, but we're covered in this goo stuff and...Sulu, is your hair  _smoking_?"

Sulu's eyes widen. "Um?"

Chekov's shirt is starting to blacken around the edges. He flails, pulling his shirt over his head quickly. "Keptin! This...goo, it is corrosive!"

Jim's own shirt is starting to burn, too, as if the goo-stains weren't enough. He curses and pulls it off, then starts unbuttoning his pants. "Everyone strip," he says firmly. Chekov and Sulu nod, but Spock has frozen where he stands. He switches off his scanner. "Vulcan skin is able to withstand much more than that of humans. I am in adequate condition to beam up now, as it is clear Sigma II does not contain the mineral deposits we were looking for." He gestures at the sandy horizon.

"For God's sake, Spock, there's acid on your clothes!" Jim snaps. He winces a little at his own harshness, but he really doesn't want to lose his First Officer over bright green slime. "C'mon, it's already hot," he says, tone apologetic. "Might as well enjoy the weather!"

Spock relents, taking off his shirt with his usual grace, but pausing with uncharacteristic reluctance at his pants.

"Don't be shy. Do you really wanna be the first person who can keep their pants on around me?" Jim jokes. Sulu rolls his eyes while he tries to extinguish his hair with Chekov's canteen. Water just seems to make the goo burn faster, though.

Jim is losing his patience, and if Spock doesn't strip right now, he's going to be losing a lot more. There's only so much Bones can do with burns. Jim flips his comm on before saying "Spock, take off your pants, and that's an order."

Nyota almost chokes at first, because she's pretty sure the landing party hadn't devolved  _that_ far when she'd checked in a few minutes ago-but then the events of the night before come rushing back. Spock and Nyota were in her quarters, and she had suggested something new..."Oh my god," she says. "Ah, Captain-" she tries, pushing frantically at the comm's buttons, but all she gets is silence.

On the planet's surface, Jim can't help but stare. Spock's pants lie forgotten at his feet, and he stands stiffly, but without covering himself. He's wearing Uhura's panties. They're lacy and red, which only serves to make them stand out terribly in Sigma II's bleached dunes. Spock does not make a single move, but he's also not looking anybody in the eye. Sulu and Chekov seem to be frozen in place.

This, Jim decides faintly, is going to be the best landing party story  _ever_.

"Four to beam up," Jim says, and Nyota finds herself unable to say anything else but "Aye." She might be a xenolinguist, but some situations there are just no words for.

The transporter room is silent when they appear, and Sulu immediately rushes off to Sickbay, head still smoking comically.

"I think we should wear hazard suits next time," Jim declares to the silence.

"I think that would be wise, Captain," Spock agrees, face still blank.

"Right, uh...I'm gonna go make sure Sulu isn't bald. Sorry about..." Jim waves his hand again. Humans have a way of expressing their emotions with their bodies, a notion Spock has become used to. He nods his acknowledgement at the apology.

Vulcans have far superior hearing than humans, a fact which Jim often forgets. Spock hears him chuckling as he leaves the transporter room. Interestingly, Spock does not feel very disquieted at the day's events. Jim and the others are his friends, so he can be sure they will not mock him about his current attire-at least, not with much heart. Over the twinge of embarrassment, he feels a certain pride at being able to be so close to Nyota by wearing her undergarments-and that overrides any shame he might feel, however slight.

However, he does note with reluctance that there is a high probability that Jim will inform Doctor McCoy of the situation. This will surely make his next physical more than a little awkward, Spock thinks.

Back on the Bridge, Nyota laughs and laughs.


End file.
